I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end. I had several months of suspecting that she was having an affair. There was weeks that I didn?t see her because she was staying out all night. I tried to do everything that I thought would help to mend the situation. I tried to get her to go to counseling, talk to the pastor at church, but the more I tried the worse my situation became. She resented me for every thing I tried to do.

I was a total wreck. I had waited until I was 31 before marrying. Six years into the relationship we now had two children who were facing with us a life-changing crisis ? possible divorce. As it turns out my wife had already made up her mind. At the time I felt like it would have been better to lose her to death, but I didn?t. I just lost her and she was still there. There was nothing I could do to make her change her mind.

I prayed day and night, every moment I could find. I fasted mostly because I had no appetite. It was all I could do to force myself to drink water. She?d felt like I neglected her. Maybe I did. She said she felt like all I needed her for was babysitter. The kids suffered because they would only see her in the morning before she went to work. I would pick them up after I got off from work and they wouldn?t see her until the next morning. After a few weeks of this she began staying home more for the sake of the children, but it seemed she and I were pretty much finished.

Finally she had opportunity to make her escape. I changed jobs and needed to relocate (military transfer). Somehow I managed to be able to take the kids with me and she stayed behind to work a few months longer. She was supposed to meet us in the new location. She ended up somewhere else. Her intentions were clear - she wasn?t coming home. We agreed to let the kids live with me, visiting mom on weekends and holidays.

As anyone could imagine this was one of the most painful things anyone could go through, especially our kids. In the beginning it was really hard for them to go back and forth. We some how came to the conclusion that they should live with me and then with their Mom after a time. We didn?t want the usual absentee dad scene.

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